our song

Sorry I haven't been able to post in two days!  I've been so swamped!  Friday I was busy all day packing for school before I left to go to the Rascal Flatts concert with Austin.  Then we left bright and early yesterday morning(Saturday) bound for SLO!!  Then that meant unpacking everything and getting all settled in.  Now I finally have the time to sit at my desk, in my new room, in my new apartment!  

It's been quite the busy weekend, but Friday night was completely magical!  Austin and I were at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater and heard some amazing music from Eden's Edge, Eli Young Band(love them!), Little Big Town(love them too!), and my favorite, Rascal Flatts!!

Rascal Flatts has a special place in my heart.  I've always liked them and their music.  If you're not a country music fan, I highly suggest you take a listen to Rascal Flatts.  One of my favorite songs is Fast Cars and Freedom, but there's one song that has become mine and Austin's "song" for other reasons than it being on the radio during our first kiss, like other couples.  

When I was told I had cancer, my mind was overwhelmed with thoughts bouncing around: Will I be ok?  I'm going to lose my hair?!  What about the rest of my senior year?  What about college?  How did this happen to me?  Among the jumbled thoughts, one question stung in the back of my mind:  Will Austin want to break up with me?  At this point, we were only 5 months into our relationship and still learning more and getting to know each other.  I didn't expect him to stick around for me, because in my head, that just wasn't fair for him.  Austin had his whole life ahead of him, and plans he's had since way before he even knew me.  I didn't want to hold him back.  Staying by my side through this journey is a huge commitment, and it should be his choice.  And what's worse than being forced and expected to endure this messy path was being guilted into it.  I didn't want Austin to stay with me because he felt guilty.  

So there I was in my hospital bed, scared and confused as to what my future holds about cancer, about Austin.  I knew I loved him, and I knew I loved him enough to let him move on with his life and plans if this was too much for him.  The next morning after that fateful February 17th, I checked my Facebook on my phone out of habit and was bombarded with notifications of kind and encouraging words from family, friends, acquaintances, and people I've never met.  Among the countless posts and messages, Austin posted a song on my wall late the night before.  

Tears instantly filled my eyes when I read the title of the song, before even hitting play.  In an instant, all my fear and uncertainty evaporated as if the thoughts were never there to begin with.  Right then I knew I wasn't going to be alone.  I knew we were in this together.  I knew I was truly loved.  The song was titled I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts.  If I fell apart at just the title of the song, I'm sure you could imagine what a mess I was when I played the song, letting the words sink in.  Ever since that day, Austin did not leave my side at all and sacrificed so much for me.  I would not have battled my cancer so well or with as much strength if it weren't for him supporting me and cheering me on the whole way.  We both grew up and learned the true meaning of commitment, sacrifice, and endearing love.  We all have blessings during hardships, and Austin was definitely my blessing.

Here are the lyrics to I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts(you may need some tissues...)

It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that

You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own
you're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
you're gonna make it
Yeah I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't

Here they are performing the song live:

###Alexis